Fine, I admit it: I cried.

And not like a simple watering of the eyes. I’m talking full, hot tears rolling down my cheek. Somewhere, Stephen Fishbach is searching for a local Staples store to buy a printer (and the absurdly expensive ink cartridges that go with it) so he can print out this paragraph and frame it as some sort of payback for all the times I made fun of him for crying about #Severegastroinstestinaldistress (What?! He told us to hashtag it!) on national television.

And it wasn’t just about backstory this week on Survivor 48. It wasn’t just about overcoming obstacles and adversity. It wasn’t just about perseverance. Yes, all of those played major factors. But it was also about an unbreakable bond — a forged connection between on-island father and daughter figures that transcended tribes and gameplay. Holy s—, I am actually tearing up again just writing this! WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!?

You all know I have been hardcore team Joe and Eva ever since I met them a few days before the season began. Our talks extended well outside of the game: Eva gave me some great advice on a family matter of mine, while Joe and I engaged in a deep discussion about how to best navigate becoming a public figure after appearing on TV. Once they ended up on a tribe together and linked up, I was so in on this dynamic duo I even gave them the stupid name of Joeva. But I had no idea what was to come.

They were split up, of course, as the cruel Survivor gods are wont to do to our favorite pairs. Eva’s support system was ripped away from her, a tough result for someone who often struggles with change and stressful situations. And then came this week’s immunity challenge. Eva had to roll one ball down a table maze, but she kept faltering. And as she did, the other tribe started catching up. Every other player from her team had landed their ball, so all the pressure was on her, and it just kept ramping up. “Why can’t I do this?” Eva exclaimed while full-on weeping.

David Kinne, Charity Nelms, Eva Erickson, and Mary Zheng. Robert Voets/CBS

And over on the other side of the challenge stood her entire support network of Joe, helplessly watching — mouthing quietly, almost to himself, “C’mon, baby…. Breathe, sis.”

This is what got me, watching the pain Joe was going through as he watched Eva struggle — this stranger he didn’t even know 11 days ago and would now die for. And he couldn’t do anything at all in that moment to help her. Like I said, helpless. It was both wildly inspiring and heartbreaking at the very same time.

And holy moly, are you kidding me with the camerawork on this scene? Anyone that tries to argue that Survivor is not the best shot and edited show on television is cuckoo for Cocoa-Puffs. I’m telling you, these camera operators are freakin’ master storytellers with some of those shots they lined up. Same thing with the editors who pieced it all together. That back-and-forth between Eva competing and Joe watching was next-level art.

And the emotional climax hadn’t even happened yet. That was after Eva finally — FINALLY! — sank her ball to give Civa the win and escape Tribal Council. Eva collapsed into her tribe mates’ arms while Joe clapped slowly from across the course. You could just tell he wanted to run over there and give her safety and comfort in his arms, but tribes are not supposed to intermingle before and after challenges. And this is a game! Nobody else knew Eva had autism. And nobody knew that Joe knew.

Even though she had persevered and won, Eva was still operating on an emotional overload. Probst saw it and he had to make a decision. Would he be blowing up their spot by telling Joe to get over there? Or would he be inhumane by not allowing Eva the support she clearly needed? He had to make a call, and he made the right one, telling Joe he could go over and give her a hug. And then, as if he had been doing this for years, Joe held her hands, enveloped her in his cocoon of calmness, and reassured her “You’re in a safe place.”

Joe Hunter and Eva Erickson. Robert Voets/CBS

Look, I realize recency bias is a powerful manipulator of minds in its own right, but this entire scene between Eva and Joe may be the most impactful and emotional moment in Survivor history, and a big part of that is due to the production elements. Just off-the-charts good. No other show — and no other version of Survivor, it should be noted — works at as high a level when it comes to production value like that. Just astounding.

And also… it’s Eva and Joe! The fact that these two strangers found each other on an island in Fiji really does feel like fate. Joe lost a sister due to tragic events. Eva needed a father figure to help her navigate these type of moments. And here they were working it all out together.

As Probst then asked Eva about the moment, she explained to the rest of the cast about having autism and handling it in situations like this. “Everyone who has autism should not be ashamed to ask for help and ashamed to receive it,” she said. And next thing you know, Probst was crying! And you know what I say to that? GOOD! If I’m crying, his ass better be crying too! This is all your fault, mister!

“There is a young girl or boy just like you watching right now going, ‘Hey, mom. Hey, dad…’” the Hostmaster General said before being stopped by his own tears. “Now you got me. I’m a parent, too, and I do see it. Wow, this has never happened. But I see it too and it’s why I love Survivor. I really do. Joe may end up blindsiding you, or you him, but in this moment, it’s possible to have all of this work.”

So true. But let it be said now: If Eva or Joe blindside each other I will never talk to either of them again. Before we move on, let it be known that I reached out to Probst to get his take on everything that went down and I highly recommend you go read that and find out why he says “We put more time and energy and thought into getting this scene right than anything I can ever remember.” Great stuff. Okay, unlike Sai, no breaks needed here — so let’s get into the other things that did not send me in to an emotional tailspin this week… although there certainly would be another player to break out into tears before all was said and done.

Jeff Probst on ‘Survivor 48’. Robert Voets/CBS

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Theres no other way to say it: I was way off in my pre-game assessment of Kyle. I met him in Fiji before the game. We chatted, and I thought to myself, “What a nice guy! Way too nice to win this game.” I figured he would be easily manipulated and would get blindsided after playing too loyal to someone far more cutthroat and willing to do what he would not. But now Kyle is the one doing the manipulating.

Even after he and Kamilla pulled off their ruse of not working together when they actually were, they were still at it after the Thomas vote, with Kyle telling Shauhin and Joe that he only played his idol because he could tell someone went through his bag. (Smart.) But by the end of the episode, it seemed that through all that deception, a new fearsome foursome had emerged.

The next day, while munching on ham and cheese croissant-wiches, the tribe discussed everything their parents had gone through — whether it be civil war, being refugees and a prisoner of war, or dealing with being an interracial couple amongst Jim Crow laws. A plan was formed, essentially, to take Kyle and Kamilla’s deception and extend it to the entire tribe. If this new foursome could pretend to be on opposite ends at the merge, they could run this game… and they appeared to all mean it. While I made Kamilla my episode 1 pick to win it all and still feel really good about that selection, I bet against Kyle once already. I won’t make that same mistake again.

Kyle Fraser on ‘Survivor 48’. Robert Voets/CBS

Probst has clearly been biased this season, and I’m sorry, but it is time to call him out on his BS. I’m speaking, of course, of his obvious season 48 aversion to orange hats. We all know the orange hats are the best. Get out of here with that blue and black hat nonsense. #OrangeHat4Eva! But orange hats have been almost as MIA as Sai during a reward challenge… which is fitting (Get it? Fitting?) seeing as how the Hostmaster General finally donned his best hat for this week’s reward competition.

Another thing besides Probst’s headwear that I liked about both this challenge and the one that followed is when the challenge producers force all players to take part in certain stages. If a tribe is truly only as strong as its weakest link, then prove it by making them all compete. It also just makes for better TV drama because there is nowhere to hide.

We obviously saw this in the immunity challenge with each player (including Eva) having to land a ball on the table maze. That entire scene never happens if Eva can pass off her turn. Plus, when you force everyone to participate, it leads to more comebacks (which the show loves) as well as moments were people dramatically rise up or fall down with everything on the line. Again, that just makes for good TV.

It wasn’t as prominent in the reward contest as it was in the immunity competition, but challenge producer John Kirhoffer and his team did a similar thing here by making each tribe member throw sandbags at a rotating target to release a bag of balls. Just wanted to acknowledge and push for more of that, please. Anyway, Lagi won. Good for them.

Mitch Guerra and Saiounia ‘Sai’ Hughley on ‘Survivor 48’. Robert Voets/CBS

I’m sorry, but have I been drinking milk wrong all those years? Is two percent milk “crap”? Is that, like, a known and well-accepted thing? I mean, my mom bought it when I was a kid so I just kinda went with it. Didn’t ask any questions. The whole oat and goat milk things were confusing enough, but now I need to worry about percentages? I was told there would be no math on this test!!! Anyway, David’s obsession with milk is equal parts endearing and disturbing.

The other big headline from the place where good things happen was Eva not feeling Charity, even as Charity got super emotional talking about how much she loved everyone. “I don’t know what it is about Charity,” Eva told us. “She comes off so fake to me.” I’ve noted before that Charity had a wide divergence on how people felt about her pre-game, and elicited strong reactions both ways. Some felt her to be aloof and icy, while others told me how much they vibed with her. She definitely appeared to be on the bottom of original Civa and may be as well here, but — other than throwing Kyle’s name out — we have not really been given any indication as to why. Definitely worth monitoring what happens with her at the merge next week.

The other person possibly on the bottom of new Lagi was Star, who did something truly fascinating this episode when she decided to tell her tribe about the Beware Advantage: “I want to play a clean game, and to play a clean game you have to tell the truth.” Eventually, Eva solved the puzzle and opened the idol, which Star then allowed her to keep.

“I gave Eva the idol because she opened it,” Star told us. “She earned it.” Whether Star truly felt that or was inspired by Eva’s story due to herself having family members on the spectrum doesn’t really matter — the idol is now Eva’s. Normally, this would seem to be an error of massive proportions on Star’s part. First off, who cares about who earned anything? Survivor is not about earning, it’s about accumulating. Star also knows Eva was throwing her name out on original Lagi, so why would she put the most powerful tool in the game in the hands of her adversary? It makes no strategic sense.

Or maybe it does. If Star just turned an enemy into an ally with that one move, then that could be a stroke of genius. And if Eva feels moved by that gesture, coupled with Star telling her “I’m on your side” due to the other recently found common ground, then it could be a masterstroke. Time will tell.

Bianca Roses on ‘Survivor 48’. Robert Voets/CBS

Honestly, guys… I don’t really know what to make of new Civa and how this vote went down. As far as I can tell, Mitch and Chrissy had shifted their target from Bianca to Sai because they were sick of her “causing so much chaos.” Meanwhile, Sai wanted Chrissy out because she found her annoying, and Cedrek clearly felt like he could not abandon Sai again just a few days after coming as close as you can to voting someone out without voting them out. So we were looking at a deadlock since Bianca had no vote to speak of due to that damn journey.

My guess is that after Bianca told Cedrek about her lost vote, he got Chrissy and Mitch on board to take out voteless Bianca (with Mitch putting his vote on Sai as a safety in case Bianca had an idol). Either that, or there wasn’t time for the news to get to Mitch before Tribal. Either way, it’s easy to hammer Bianca for trusting Cedrek with the information of her lost vote. Then again, let’s play out what happens if she hadn’t told him. Mitch and Chrissy vote Sai. Sai and Cedrek vote Chrissy. It’s a tie. They vote again. It’s a tie again, and before you know it, Probst has to officially reveal that Bianca has no vote and poor Cedrek is suffering from the worst case of Survivor déjà vu in history.

The point is, I think Bianca goes home either way. She was screwed if she told him, and screwed if she didn’t. Again, that damn journey. It claimed both Justin and Bianca. Bianca also got kind of screwed because she had this super emotional exit — crying while getting her torch snuffed and as she took that long walk into that good night — that will register as barely a blip on the emotional devastation radar compared to what came earlier. Bad timing alert!

Hey, at least she gets to hang with her bestie Thomas at Ponderosa. Bianca is a ball of personality and we only got to see shades of that during her five-episode stay. But I am going to put this out in the universe right now: If there is another Blood vs. Water season, Bianca and her mother should be automatic entrants. HOW MUCH JERSEY CAN YOU HANDLE, AMERICA? Because let me tell you, as someone who lives within spitting distance of Bianca’s fabulous mother… that’s a lot of Jersey.

Okay, per usual, I’ve overstayed my welcome. And if you see any typos in this recap it’s because I can’t handle proofreading it and risking breaking into uncontrollable sobs again and possibly short-circuiting my laptop. Sorry about that. Pure self-preservation. But do yourself a favor and go read my interview with Probst about what I consider to be one of the absolute best Survivor scenes ever. We also have an exclusive deleted scene showing an interesting development over on Vula, and make sure to check out our exit interview with Bianca. Meanwhile, feel free to weigh in with your thoughts and comments, and I’ll be back next week with another scoop of the crispy!